sj mcmahon writes

It was just one of the stupid ideas we always used to come up with. One of those daft dares. Deggsy thought of it. Deggsy always thought of them really.
 He said it would be a test, of loyalty, an adventure and right laugh, all rolled into one. Said it would show how bonded we were as “us”.
 We weren’t exactly a gang, but I suppose our little quartet of friends was pretty close to it. Had our own set of little made up rules, like how we dressed, the dares and our names.
 Deggsy, Danny, D-Boy and me, Diddy.
 Yeah I hated that name and yeah I was the smallest of the group, I couldn’t deny that. But still, there was no need for it.
 Deggsy gave it to me, of course and he named D-Boy too, although I don’t know why. When I asked D-Boy he had just shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t know either. Deggsy had always been a “law unto himself” as my Dad would say.
 Danny had of course already been called Daniel, so his name was easy to sort.          
Anyway that was “us”, the four of us.
 The dares thing came out of boredom I guess. There’s only so much you can do in our town entertainment wise and not much of it is aimed at us kids.
So we spent a lot of our time wandering the streets, going into town or down at the park and its woods, oh, and doing dares. Mostly they had been daft things like flicking paper clips across assembly, leaving a drawing pin, point up, on our teacher’s chair, or nicking sweets from the local shop.
 It always seemed to be Deggsy that thought up the dares too. They would pop out of his mouth and we would all look at each other doubtful, waiting for the first one to agree. Deggsy would goad us into action always saying “ Chicken!” The word would be pulled out in a long drawl from his lips “Go on, I dare ya!” It had become something of a catchphrase with him.
 The thing with Deggsy though was he was always a bit different to the rest of us. I think it was because he didn’t have a mum and dad. He lived in one of those kid’s homes. Not that it mattered to us, but it was kind of like he didn’t feel accountable to anyone. He seemed a little wilder than the rest of us, made his own choices, made choices for us as well. Plus he was really funny and so far the dares had all been a proper laugh.
 Our park backed on to a canal so the four of us had spent days in the summer walking in either direction, just seeing how far we could get before the light faded, passing through tunnels and along fenced off sections where the most people rarely went. But we were  always careful to make it back to the park before proper nightfall.
 It was late summer when this last dare happened. That point when the days are just starting to get noticeably shorter and the light in the evenings bathes everything in an odd warm glow. The magic hour my Mum calls it. We were all pretty sick of the canal walks so this time we decide on the woods themselves for a bit of an explore.
 Deggsy led, as usual. Followed by Danny and D-Boy, with me bringing up the rear. It always seemed to end up like that. We fell into formation like a small troupe of soldiers. Me being the shortest meant I was always left at the back, rushing to keep up with the others.
 We were navigating an overgrown footpath on our march, which was a few metres up from the canal. You could catch occasional glimpses of the sheen of the water between the dense tree cover and the path was set with hidden rocks and pool of mud that sucked at our feet. I became a little disoriented, unsure of how long we had been walking or what part of the woods we were now in. I don’t know if it was the change in the tone of the light as the tree cover became denser, but it seemed to me to be a part of the area I did not know. This in itself was an unsettling surprise to me, as I had spent vast amount of my time roaming this woodland.
 Our small group trudged on until finally Deggsy shouted “Whoa!” as he raised one hand calling us to a sudden stop.
“Look at that!” he exclaimed excitedly.
Ahead of us was the apparent edge a large gaping crater.
“Wow the old quarry!” said Danny.
Long abandoned and over taken by nature, ever crevice in its sides seemed to have sprouted foliage, softening its harsh rock layers.
 We stood for a moment in awe, marvelling at is vastness. It seemed to be as deep as a skyscraper was tall and as wide as a lake to my eye.          
 “Hey what’s that down there?“ D-Boy chirped up and pointed down towards the very bottom of the quarry. “Looks like an old car or something.”
“I think your right D-Boy and we are going to go down there and get a closer look” replied Deggsy.
I was suddenly nervous at this suggestion. How would we get down there? It all looked so steep and inaccessible. It certainly didn’t look safe from where I was standing.
“You sure that’s a good idea Deggsy?” I piped up weakly.
He rounded on me grabbing the sleeve of my jacket firmly as Danny and D-Boy watched on intently.
“What’s up Diddy? You too chicken? Of course it’s a good idea, it’s one of mine innit? So it has to be good, yeah? Come on we are ALL going down there to that car. I dare you, I dare you all. Or are you all gonna run home now to your mummies eh?”
 There it was, he had said it. The dare was made and we had to face up to it.
D-Boy and Danny jostled each other a little, puffing out their chests, as if standing to attention.
“I’m in” said Danny.
“Me too” D-Boy followed.
Deggsy looked hard at me. I sighed not really feeling it but reluctantly nodded my agreement. Deggsy looked satisfied, smug almost, like he always did when he got his way, and let’s face it he always did get his way.
Peer pressure eh, it’s a damn strong thing.
 Anyhow, Deggsy was happy, so that meant the rest of us could be happy too. That was how it worked with us.
 We set off, circling the rim of the quarry looking for an easy way down. Finally we found a section that reminded me of one of those wildlife programmes where you see mountain goats on a seemingly flat cliff face. It had lots of slender ledges, just wide enough for our feet, making a sort of safe route, so long as you leant your body back in against the quarry side and held on to the occasional branch from the every present foliage. Slowly and steadily we made our way down until finally, and with some relief, all four of us stood on the quarry floor.
 It was odd but the air felt different down there somehow. There was a strange sort of quiet. It was eerie in a way. It creeped me out a bit, truth be told, and I was certainly very glad to have my friends there with me.     
 The car was a good few metres away from us still. It was like some kind of prize to us. A goal we needed to achieve. Reaching it needed to take an amount of time and effort, so that we could look back on it with some kind of pride for getting there. So we circled, around and around the base of the old  quarry, drawing ever closer.
 As we drew near the silent metal pile we could tell that it had been there for some considerable time. All the glass in the windows was long gone and the metal work had rusted to a pattern of vivid oranges and deep reds. The car was awkwardly positioned on a slightly sloped area, its front wheels up against a large rock. It looked like it had crashed as its bonnet was crumpled and had popped slightly, revealing a dark sliver of its interior.
We drew closer still.
Suddenly Deggsy drew in a sharp breathe and stepped back with a cry.
The car was occupied.
We huddled together, momentarily panicked and unsure what to do, but eventually Deggsy moved forward again and approached the car once more.
He carefully peered inside.
“I think he’s dead” he said, his voice taking on a weird muffled tone.
The remaining three of us exchanged horrified glances.
“You sure Deggsy?” I called out.
“Yeah, defo. Come see.” he replied.
Cautiously, yet full of curiosity, we advanced on the car and its prone driver, to stare in alongside our friend. The figure was slumped forward at little in the  seat, its chin down on its chest. The skin on its face and hands looked grey and blotchy and its neck was swollen straining against the collar of it’s suit jacket. It was horrifyingly fascinating.
Deggsy had found a stick on the ground and had reached it into the car to apparently poke at the dead man.
“Deggsy, mate, what are you doing!?” D-Bay sounded like he was going to puke.
“Shut up, he’s got something in his hand. It looks like a piece of paper. I just want to see if I can knock it free.”
Deggsy continued to lean forward pushing the top half of his body into the window opening.
D-Boy looking sickened had stepped back to stand at the rear of the car, as if to disassociate himself from Deggsy’s actions. Danny was quick to join him and now also stood, next to his best friend, behind the car boot saying “Hey Deggsy man, just leave it mate ”
But Deggsy was to intention on his goal to take any notice of them, or to care about what they thought.
I remained close to him, worried about what he was doing but also deeply curious and excited to be so close to an actual corpse.
“Nearly got it.” Deggsy prodded again shifting his body weight so that his was leaning on the side of the car.
The dead man lurched under Deggsy’s interference and a sickly sweet yet fetid aroma filled my nostrils, making me gag.       
 Deggsy pushed harder against the vehicle. There was a creaking and the car shuddered a little before suddenly it tipped backwards! Despite its aged state it rolled swiftly down the slope, showering Deggsy in a spray of tiny particles of red/orange rust.
 I turned, too late to act, to see the surprised faces of Danny and D-Boy as they disappeared beneath the advancing vehicle. Their cries and the unpleasant cracking of their bones still rings in my ears to this day. The car came to a groaning rest on top of my two friends and they were lost to me.
 We panicked, Deggsy and me I mean. We were just kids, we didn’t know what to do. We both started to run across the floor of the quarry, neither sure where we were intending to reach. Just running.
 I could hear a long high screeching. Was that Danny or D-Boy? I halted and looked back, and the screech held itself in my own throat. It had been me. My terror making that fearful sound.
 Deggsy has stopped too. We looked at each other across the cavernous space and then at the car and our friends, both of them so still, so very quiet. I didn’t know what to do so I started walking back towards the car. So did Deggsy.
 Reaching the prone figures of our friends at the same time we stood a moment still unsure what should happen next.
 Finally I said “ Deggsy man what should we do?”
 He seemed to be ignoring me. He just kept staring down at Danny and D-Boy.
 I tried again “Deggsy, come on mate what should we do?”
 He just sort of shrugged. Didn’t lift his eyes, just moved his shoulders a little. I was infuriated by that. Surely it was down to him to let us know what to do next, like he always did?
 “Deggsy!” I reached over and shoved him hard, breaking him from his trance.
 “Get off Diddy you idiot!” Deggsy lurched at me and grappled me to the ground.
 We scuffled for a few moments rolling in the rough grass until with a yelp Deggsy jumped off me and set off running again. I lay a moment, dazed watching him go before I too jumped up to run as fast as I could home. I needed to tell someone, tell Dad, about my trapped friends. He would know what to do.
 After that I didn’t talk much to Deggsy and he didn’t talk to me. He barely spoke to anyone really. He still came to school but he was always silent in class and would leave as soon as the final bell rang. You never saw him in town or at the park with the other kids.
 When the Police had investigated it all, I had overheard a Constable telling my Dad that the bloke in the car had “topped himself” and that the paper in his hand was his suicide note. That creeped me out all over again.
 Funny thing happened last week though. My job took me to a new town. Not far from here, but far enough for me not to know the lay of the land there. Anyway nice little place, more like a village than a town really.
 I parked up near an ancient looking church and was locking my car when I unexpectedly heard my name being called. Turning I was surprised to see Deggsy. An even bigger shock was that he was dressed up in the black garb and dog collar of a religious man.
 “Deggsy, mate, how the heck are you?”
 “Very well my old friend, very well, and you?”
 “Can’t complain.” I replied unsure of where to go with the conversation. The past hung between us like a bad smell. Should we acknowledge it or brush over all of that?
 “Well, well, a vicar eh? I have to say I don’t expect that.”
 Deggsy laughed politely saying “Well retribution and absolution come in unusual forms don’t they, and it has helped me greatly to make amends for the errors of the past. You know you too can seek forgiveness if you so wish.”
 So he was going there was he? Plus it seemed like he thought I was as to blame as he was for what had happened. Well I couldn’t agree. It had been his blasted dare that had caused the deaths of our friends, not mine. Thing was though that I really didn’t feel like getting into it all right there and then. Plus I had a work meeting to go to,
 “Yeah right, cheers,” I said “got to go but lovely to see you mate.”
 “You too, old friend, you too.”
 We shook hands and I set off walking. Looking back as I reached the corner of the Main Street I noted that Deggsy was still watching me. He appeared to have a look of pity etched into his face. Seems he really did think I had something to be forgiven for. So just who was in denial me or him. I just don’t know.
 Occasionally I go and stand at the top of the quarry and look down. Sometimes I even see Danny and D-Boy down there looking back up at me. They wave and I wave back. I see their mouths move, shaping words to distant to hear. How I would dearly love to go down to listen to what they have to say. The desperate pull to do so is often almost too much to resist, as they beckon to me. But I always manage to turn away, I would never go back down there. I will always miss my friends but I’m done with that quarry and I’m done with dares now too.
By SJ McMahon 2018 ©